Behind this red door…….tears fall

November 27, 2011 in It's The Simple Gifts In Life by admin

No one can even begin to understand the fight I endure daily; the immense pain I am physically, emotionally and mentally. I can’t watch television without crying, it seems that here lately even my favorite television shows somehow relate to me; they are about people who have sustained brain injuries or people with serious medical issues and how they effect their social life, the daily struggles and heartache. I can’t try to pay for a prescription without crying because I realize how broke I am and  yet my insurance just raised co-pays again. I can’t talk about any of the my recent medical conditions progressing without crying. I wonder, don’t you run out of tears eventually?!

So, I started thinking, I can continue to be responsible, pay off my debts, do the right thing financially and so be it. Although, quite honestly, whenever I die, whether it may be eighty years from now or tomorrow, at my funeral they can either say “yes, she paid off all her debts and had great credit but she hated living in Alabama, she was sick of living where she was, she was ready to move, she wanted to go visited all these great places but never got to, she wanted to go do this and that, but never got to…” OR they can say “yes she may of left this world in debt but hell she had a blast! She lived out her bucket list, she got to go visit all these amazing places and do all these great things!” So I kind of was tossing the decision back and forth and I’ve made the decision to start living my bucket list! So what happens if I live forever my grandma asked, then hell I make a payment to the credit card company’s every month and live in debt like every other American, I’ve made the decision to start living my bucket list!

but yet I will say it’s the little things in life that you find will mean the most when you’re 25, almost 26 years old and you are on more medication than your age and the doctors tell you there’s really not a lot of other options they have for you.